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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24482821">avengers: twitter disaster</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tragedyofthemithraeum/pseuds/tragedyofthemithraeum'>tragedyofthemithraeum</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ace/Bi Clint Barton, Bi Peter Parker, Bisexual Valkyrie, Destroying Homophobes, Domestic Avengers, Everyone Is Gay, Gay Bruce Banner, Genderfluid Loki, How Do I Tag, I'm not sorry tho, Lesbian Natasha Romanov, Multi, Pansexual Loki, The Revengers (bc they're awesome), Thor is an ally, Trans Peter Parker, Trans Tony Stark, actually this definitely is a disaster, avengers social media, avengers twitter, bi steve rogers, bi tony stark, comment your feedback plz, maybe literally, seriously why is everyone gay, this may be a disaster</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:35:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,006</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24482821</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tragedyofthemithraeum/pseuds/tragedyofthemithraeum</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Minimal plot, maximum chaos.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bruce Banner/Tony Stark, Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Valkyrie/OFC, maybe more we'll see what happens</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>351</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. and so it begins</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i have nothing to say on this matter except for this: i am bored, i am gay, and i have been reading too much avengers fanfiction</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>Starkdaddy @youknowwhoiam</b><br/>
How do I convince the rest of the team to get twitter?</p><p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>
blackmail them</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @youknowwhoiam</b><br/>
okay jarvis get on it</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @youknowwhoiam</b><br/>
also nat why did I not know you have a twitter account</p><p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>
I’m literally a russian spy what did you expect</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @youknowwhoiam</b><br/>
Seriously though I need to see old man steve trying to use twitter</p><p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>
I’ll tell him you called him that</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @youknowwhoiam</b><br/>
bitch </p><p>
  <b>@natwidow blocked @youknowwhoiam</b>
</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @youknowwhoiam</b><br/>
wait wait unblock me I need to tell you something</p><p>
  <b>@natwidow unblocked @youknowwhoiam</b>
</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @youknowwhoiam</b><br/>
bitch </p><p>
  <b>-----------------------------------------------------------------</b>
</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @youknowwhoiam</b><br/>
Okay so I got most of the team on board with the twitter thing, we’ll see what happens</p><p><b>Bruce Banner @#1sciencebro</b><br/>
I’m not very optimistic about our chances of not screwing up this website. Tony already got Jarvis to change my username into something a bit more *interesting* so I had to deal with that</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @youknowwhoiam</b><br/>
A bit off topic but since when are you the #1 science bro? We all know I’m #1</p><p><b>Bruce Banner @#1sciencebro</b><br/>
You were until you spilled coffee all over my abiogenesis papers after not sleeping for three days straight</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @youknowwhoiam</b><br/>
okay fair point</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
this work?</p><p><b>Bruce Banner @#1sciencebro</b><br/>
Please sleep</p><p>
  <b>-----------------------------------------------------------------</b>
</p><p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>
i’m just now realizing how fucking weird everyone in the avengers tower is like why do i live here</p><p>
  <b>View Thread<br/>
|<br/>
|<br/>
v</b>
</p><p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>
like i don’t think normal people play with frisbees in their living rooms. while drunk. with captain america’s shield</p><p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>
at 3am</p><p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>
good thing i can take out my hearing aids and ignore these fucking weirdos</p><p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>
@clintbart0n are you suggesting that you’re less weird than the rest of the avengers</p><p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>
@natwidow when did i say that</p><p><b>AvengersStan&lt;3 @i_heart_themmmm</b><br/>
Hold up. Hawkeye is on twitter? /And/ he’s deaf, which I somehow didn’t know? I am much happy</p><p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>
@i_heart_themmmm hell yeah, i’m on twitter, also the media has for some reason failed to address my deafness, like at all,,</p><p><b>AvengersStan&lt;3 @i_heart_themmmm</b><br/>
HAWKEYE RESPONDED TO MY TWEET</p><p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>
@i_heart_themmmm :D</p><p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p><p><b>God Of Thunder @asgardambassador</b><br/>
Midgardian travel takes some getting used to. I wanted to see what riding a bus was like, so I did so today, and I must say I was unprepared for that level of abdominal turmoil. </p><p><b>Star Lord @pquill_nyquil</b><br/>
Getting around is way easier when you have a ship</p><p><b>God Of Thunder @asgardambassador</b><br/>
Or a Bifrost. Truly, this realm’s travel astounds me. </p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
Look it isn’t my fault we don’t have flying cars yet</p><p><b>Star Lord @pquill_nyquil</b><br/>
Actually, it kind of is</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
… </p><p><b>Bruce Banner @#1sciencebro</b><br/>
Yeah, get on it Tony ;)</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
Bruce please don’t ever use a winky face again</p><p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>
You guys are all incapable of holding a coherent conversation</p><p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>
i bet that winky face means something tony ;)</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
You all know I could find your social security numbers within thirty seconds right</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. randomness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>i can't summarize something with no discernible plot :( it's just my hero bois tweeting</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>what am I even doing at this point? I should be doing schoolwork. But I'm doing this. I feel no remorse. Enjoy the Avengers attempting to use social media</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>Steve Rogers @capamerica</b><br/>
I’m not quite sure what to do with this whole Twitter thing, but I’m here. #firsttweet</p><p><b>Bruce Banner @#1sciencebro</b><br/>
Welcome Cap!</p><p><b>AvengersStan&lt;3 @i_heart_themmmm</b><br/>
YASSS the whole team is officially on twitter!</p><p><b>CallMeBucky @metalarm</b><br/>
Welcome to the club Rogers, don’t get too angry at anyone, although seeing you ranting might be fun</p><p><b>Steve Rogers @capamerica</b><br/>
With all the racist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, misogynistic bullshit I’ve already seen on here, I’m sure I’ll have good reason to get angry. </p><p><b>Donald307 @don.r</b><br/>
wait captain america supports fags? thought he was from the 30s</p><p><b>Steve Rogers @capamerica</b><br/>
Just because I’m from the 30s doesn’t mean I don’t support basic human rights. </p><p><b>Donald307 @don.r</b><br/>
why would the gays need rights? they chose their lifestyle, they brought their oppression upon themselves</p><p><b>Steve Rogers @capamerica</b><br/>
Pretty sure I didn’t choose to be bisexual just to deal with assholes like you.</p><p><b>wittle_widow @avengeme</b><br/>
CAPTAIN AMERICA IS BISEXUAL. THIS KNOWLEDGE MAKES MY LIFE MUCH BETTER.</p><p>
  <b>-----------------------------------------------------------------</b>
</p><p>Direct message: <b>@metalarm to @capamerica</b></p><p><b>@metalarm:</b> did you just come out to twitter?<br/>
<b>@capamerica:</b> Yeah, I mean people would have found out eventually anyway<br/>
<b>@metalarm:</b> babe that was real brave<br/>
<b>@capamerica:</b> Aww thanks<br/>
<b>@metalarm:</b> :V :D :3</p><p>
  <b>-----------------------------------------------------------------</b>
</p><p><b>ParkerPeter @the.best.intern</b><br/>
mr stark just spilled his coffee again</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
Kid you can’t harass me on twitter too</p><p><b>ParkerPeter @the.best.intern</b><br/>
that wasn’t harassment, it was jus facts</p><p><b>speedyyyy @flashthompson</b><br/>
Wait how does Parker know Tony Stark?</p><p><b>ParkerPeter @the.best.intern</b><br/>
i’m his intern at stark industries</p><p><b>speedyyyy @flashthompson</b><br/>
How’d you land /that/ one?</p><p><b>BLACK LIVES MATTER @MJ_will_fight_you</b><br/>
Cuz he’s a goody two shoes Flash</p><p><b>ParkerPeter @the.best.intern</b><br/>
awwwhhh thank you mj </p><p><b>BLACK LIVES MATTER @MJ_will_fight_you</b><br/>
Jus facts</p><p><b>Neddy @n3dw33ks</b><br/>
My best friend knows Tony Stark, take that world</p><p><b>BLACK LIVES MATTER @MJ_will_fight_you</b><br/>
He’s my best friend</p><p><b>Neddy @n3dw33ks</b><br/>
Mine D:</p><p><b>ParkerPeter @the.best.intern</b><br/>
you guys you’re BOTH MY BESTIES CALM DOWN</p><p><b>BLACK LIVES MATTER @MJ_will_fight_you</b><br/>
K fine</p><p><b>Neddy @n3dw33ks</b><br/>
Okayyyy </p><p>
  <b>-----------------------------------------------------------------</b>
</p><p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>
Clint I know you’re spying on me from the vents</p><p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>
awww cmon nat don’t ruin my fun</p><p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>
Why are you tweeting from the vents</p><p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>
because i’m in the vents and i want to tweet</p><p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>
Didn’t answer my question</p><p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>
because i’m a secret agent who needs to tweet</p><p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>
Why did Phil hire you</p><p><b>AgentCoulson @philcoulson</b><br/>
I saw potential in him. Now I’m not so sure. </p><p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>
philly u know shield needs me and my mad archery skills</p><p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>
Clint I don’t think you’re allowed to call him Philly</p><p><b>AgentCoulson @philcoulson</b><br/>
That’s right, he’s not, but he’s also technically not allowed to be in the Stark Tower vents, so here we are.</p><p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>
y’all are party poopers :(</p><p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>
Nah we just value our privacy</p><p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>
IM NOT SPYING ON U</p><p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>
Right</p><p><b>AgentCoulson @philcoulson</b><br/>
Barton, you literally sent me video footage of you spying on them. All of them. Get out of the vents.</p><p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>
fineeeee :(</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. pride month</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>wow so many gay avengers</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>seriously so many gay avengers<br/>that's all i have to say</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>Hey everybody, happy pride month to all! I need to talk about some things.</p>
<p>
  <b>View Thread<br/>|<br/>|<br/>V</b>
</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>So years ago, I came out as transgender publicly, but the media coverage quickly died, so basically nobody knows I’m trans</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>I want to be out publicly to let everyone know that yes, superheroes can be lgbtq+</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>Something I haven’t told the public is that I’m bisexual, so. Now you know that too</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>In conclusion, Iron Man is kinda gay and 100% a trans dude. Thank you for your time</p>
<p><b>beckDaEmon @manofiron</b><br/>I - I - THANK YOU TONY STARK. We all needed this.</p>
<p><b>AvengersStan&lt;3 @i_heart_themmmm</b><br/>HERO REPRESENTATION</p>
<p>
  <b>-----------------------------------------------------------------</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Direct Message: @#1sciencebro to @#2sciencebro</b>
</p>
<p><b>@#1sciencebro</b>: That was super brave<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: Only doing what I’ve wanted to do for years<br/><b>@#1sciencebro</b>: Proud of you. I think I might come out to twitter now<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: wait - come out?<br/><b>@#1sciencebro</b>: yeah, I, uh<br/><b>@#1sciencebro</b>: I’m gay<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: Wow I have bad gaydar how did I not know this<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: Proud of you Bruce<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: Go slay those twitter queens<br/><b>@#1sciencebro</b>: Lol yeah I will</p>
<p>
  <b>-----------------------------------------------------------------</b>
</p>
<p><b>Bruce Banner @#1sciencebro</b><br/>In honor of pride month, I’d like to come out. I’m gay. I’ve been scared of telling people for years, but I can’t hide anymore, not when I have such a loving and accepting Avengers family.</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>That was very elegant. Round of applause</p>
<p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>Love you Bruce. Proud of u. </p>
<p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>hell yeah best science bro</p>
<p><b>Steve Rogers @capamerica</b><br/>We’re always here for you, Bruce.</p>
<p><b>God Of Thunder @asgardambassador</b><br/>May fortune favor you, Banner, and may Midgard love and support you fully as you are. Happy Month of Pride.</p>
<p><b>ParkerPeter @the.best.intern</b><br/>good for you mr. banner!! you’re awesome !! :)</p>
<p><b>CallMeBucky @metalarm</b><br/>I’m loving all these coming outs, congrats Tony and Bruce and Steve</p>
<p><b>Bruce Banner @#1sciencebro</b><br/>You guys are amazing. I’m definitely not crying.</p>
<p>
  <b>-----------------------------------------------------------------</b>
</p>
<p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>I guess since everyone else is coming out, I should too. I’m a lesbian spider queen. Kicking homophobe’s asses since the Red Room. </p>
<p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>you’re an icon nat</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>I KNEW IT</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>Only a sapphic spy could attain your level of badassery</p>
<p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>thank you tony</p>
<p>
  <b>-----------------------------------------------------------------</b>
</p>
<p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>y’all are beating me to this coming out thing. i’m asexual and biromantic. happy pride month</p>
<p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>You da best Clint</p>
<p><b>AgentHawk @itssamwilsonbitches</b><br/>An arrow shooting ace icon. Barton, you’re mad cool.</p>
<p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>ooo look who joined the twitter squad! thanks sam :P :D and thank u nat :3</p>
<p><b>AgentCoulson @philcoulson</b><br/>More representation in SHIELD is always a good thing.</p>
<p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>thx philly ;)</p>
<p>
  <b>-----------------------------------------------------------------</b>
</p>
<p><b>Buzzfeed News @buzzfeed_news</b><br/>It’s Pride Month, and five of the Avengers just came out. Who’s next? And what does this mean for their public relations? <span class="u">https://gayevengers/fakelink.h7368du.url</span></p>
<p>
  <b>-----------------------------------------------------------------</b>
</p>
<p><b>Pepper Potts @SICEO</b><br/>In honor of Pride Month, the Stark Tower will be lit up with rainbows for the entire month of June. Love is love, and we’re here to celebrate it.</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>This is why I made you CEO</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>Pepper you’re awesome</p>
<p><b>Pepper Potts @SICEO</b><br/>Thank you, Tony. I try my best.</p>
<p>
  <b>-----------------------------------------------------------------</b>
</p>
<p><b>Spidey @biderman</b><br/>I’m not technically an Avenger, but I’m still gonna come out! I’m a trans guy, and I’m bisexual! Happy Pride!!</p>
<p><b>AvengersStan&lt;3 @i_heart_themmmm</b><br/>You’re the best avenger spidey *heart emoji*</p>
<p><b>beckDaEmon @manofiron</b><br/>YOU GUYS ALL OF THE AVENGERS ARE GAY. I MEAN LIKE, SOME OF THEM. BUT STILL. AND TRANS. I AM CRYING TEARS OF JOY</p>
<p>
  <b>-----------------------------------------------------------------</b>
</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>Congrats to all of you for coming out. We’re a proud team. Sending all my love and peace signs</p>
<p><b>Bruce Banner @#1sciencebro</b><br/>Are we the Gayvengers now?</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>Hell yeah</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>Congrats Gayvengers :)</p>
<p><b>Bruce Banner @#1sciencebro</b><br/>:)</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. further randomness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Who's the strongest Avenger? + some more shit</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>next chapter in 2 seconds, jk jk probably tomorrow or something</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>Headcanonqueen @avengerzzz</b><br/>
@#2sciencebro who’s the strongest Avenger?</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
If I’m being honest? Totally me. If I’m being nice? Totally Black Widow. That bitch has nerves of steel</p><p><b>Headcanonqueen @avengerzzz</b><br/>
Oh my god you responded</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
Only to claim what is rightfully mine</p><p><b>Bruce Banner @#1sciencebro</b><br/>
What happened to your Quinjet literally calling me ‘strongest Avenger’?</p><p><b>God Of Thunder @asgardambassador</b><br/>
I beg to differ, all of you. I am the strongest Avenger.</p><p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>
Tony’s only correct when he’s being nice</p><p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>
i’m the strongest avenger uwu jk jk it’s banner </p><p><b>Rhodeside @war.machiney</b><br/>
This is fun to watch</p><p><b>Bruce Banner @#1sciencebro</b><br/>
See? Clint supports me</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
You guys I literally inject testosterone directly into my veins, I am the strongest avenger </p><p><b>Bruce Banner @#1sciencebro</b><br/>
Hmmm okay fair point, but can you kill aliens with testosterone?</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
I mean technically, if they were humanoid, an overdose of testosterone into their circulatory system would do the trick</p><p><b>ParkerPeter @the.best.intern</b><br/>
mr stark with all due respect how are you gonna inject aliens with T</p><p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>
simple. with my arrows. i’m the strongest avenger. give me some T shot arrows and i'll wreck you all</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
Clint you son of a bitch</p><p><b>Rhodeside @war.machiney</b><br/>
Logic and reason have left the chat</p><p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>
rhodey let me have my victory</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
Okay fine. You win. @avengerzzz Hawkeye is the strongest avenger</p><p><b>Headcanonqueen @avengerzzz</b><br/>
This thread made my day</p><p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>
  <b>Direct Message: @philcoulson to @clintbart0n</b>
</p><p><b>@philcoulson</b>: You were supposed to be at work today.<br/>
<b>@clintbart0n</b>: dude i lost my hearing aids give me a break<br/>
<b>@philcoulson</b>: Am I now ‘dude’ to you?<br/>
<b>@clintbart0n</b>: Would you prefer ‘sir’?<br/>
<b>@philcoulson</b>: Did you just write a complete sentence?<br/>
<b>@clintbart0n</b>: no i typed it<br/>
<b>@philcoulson</b>: You have paperwork<br/>
<b>@clintbart0n</b>: i   a m   d e a f<br/>
<b>@clintbart0n</b>: a n d   i    c a n t    f i n d    m y   a i d s<br/>
<b>@philcoulson</b>: Did you or did you not once detain three people without your aids?<br/>
<b>@clintbart0n</b>: …. i did<br/>
<b>@philcoulson</b>: Then come sign your documents. I’ll make coffee<br/>
<b>@clintbart0n</b>: better be good coffee<br/>
<b>@philcoulson</b>: Only the best for you, Barton</p><p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p><p><b>Pepper Potts @SICEO</b><br/>
You guys know you have jobs, right?</p><p><b>WandaM @bitchywitchy</b><br/>
I tried to tell them that, they would not listen</p><p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>
Wait Wanda got twitter?</p><p><b>Vision @sciencebrobaby</b><br/>
I convinced myself to make an account, and then I convinced her. </p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
Vision. Your name is sciencebrobaby. Thank you so much for fulfilling my parental dreams</p><p><b>Vision @sciencebrobaby</b><br/>
I calculated the odds of its success as a username. They were high. </p><p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>
is nobody going to talk about the fact that so many of us have ‘bitch’ in our usernames</p><p><b>AgentHawk @itssamwilsonbitches</b><br/>
Bitches will be bitches</p><p><b>WandaM @bitchywitchy</b><br/>
I needed something ‘edgy’</p><p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>
#BitchSquad</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
Oh my god Barton used capital letters in a tweet, it’s a miracle</p><p><b>WandaM @bitchywitchy</b><br/>
#BitchSquad</p><p><b>AgentHawk @itssamwilsonbitches</b><br/>
#BitchSquad</p><p><b>Vision @sciencebrobaby</b><br/>
The three bitchketeers</p><p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>
Vision can lift Thor’s hammer /and/ make puns. Mad skills </p><p><b>Vision @sciencebrobaby</b><br/>
I <i>do</i> have access to the entirety of the internet, so. </p><p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>
  <b>Direct Message: @#1sciencebro to @#2sciencebro</b>
</p><p><b>@#1sciencebro</b>: Vision has two dads, happy pride month :)<br/>
<b>@#2sciencebro</b>: Wow you are gayer than I thought<br/>
<b>@#1sciencebro</b>: You thought I was straight<br/>
<b>@#2sciencebro</b>: Exactly</p><p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p><p><b>CallMeBucky @metalarm</b><br/>
fuck I’m gay</p><p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>
We know</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
Dude we know</p><p><b>CallMeBucky @metalarm</b><br/>
Wait what</p><p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>
I’ve seen you gazing into *someone*’s eyes</p><p><b>CallMeBucky @metalarm</b><br/>
um </p><p><b>CallMeBucky @metalarm</b><br/>
shit </p><p><b>CallMeBucky @metalarm</b><br/>
Well</p><p><b>CallMeBucky @metalarm</b><br/>
Hi everyone I’m dating Steve Rogers</p><p><b>Steve Rogers @capamerica</b><br/>
:)</p><p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>
@clintbart0n you owe me twenty bucks</p><p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>
ah shit </p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
LaNgUaGe</p><p><b>Steve Rogers @capamerica</b><br/>
Shut it Stark</p><p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>
Lolololol if steve wasn’t dating bucky he’d be dating tony with the amount of tension between these two</p><p><b>Steve Rogers @capamerica</b><br/>
… </p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
You know what Romanov- </p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
I have a boyfriend</p><p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>
You wish</p><p><b>Pepper Potts @SICEO</b><br/>
Do any of you realize how many crappy articles are going to be written about this single conversation?</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
The #1 redhead hath thrown shade upon us, woe is me</p><p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>
So you’re saying I’m the #2 redhead? That’s weak Stark</p><p><b>Pepper Potts @SICEO</b><br/>
I’m being serious.</p><p><b>Pepper Potts @SICEO</b><br/>
Go to sleep, wake up, and do. Your. Jobs.</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
Fine</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. #blm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Define 'summary'</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>For those of you who are maybe reading this years in the future, the #BLM part was written during the turmoil after the murder of George Floyd, for context. I was very pissed off so I decided to incorporate a real event into my fic. Enjoy</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>groot @iamgroot</b><br/>i am groot</p>
<p><b>Freakin Trash Panda @rocketracccc</b><br/>We can’t tell what you’re saying if we can’t hear your voice, Groot</p>
<p><b>groot @iamgroot</b><br/>i am groot!!!</p>
<p><b>Star Lord @pquill_nyquil</b><br/>I bet you ten bucks he’s saying ‘fuck everyone’</p>
<p><b>Freakin Trash Panda @rocketracccc</b><br/>You’re useless Quill</p>
<p><b>Star Lord @pquill_nyquil</b><br/>You little shit I’m the leader of the Guardians of the Galaxy I am not useless</p>
<p><b>Freakin Trash Panda @rocketracccc</b><br/>I was fuCKING KIDDING</p>
<p><b>groot @iamgroot</b><br/>*voice recording* i Am GrOoT</p>
<p><b>Star Lord @pquill_nyquil</b><br/>You owe me ten bucks Rocket</p>
<p><b>Freakin Trash Panda @rocketracccc</b><br/>I never agreed to your stupid bet</p>
<p><b>Freakin Trash Panda @rocketracccc</b><br/>And I don’t even have any credits let alone earth money, dingus</p>
<p><b>Star Lord @pquill_nyquil</b><br/>Fuck you</p>
<p><b>God Of Thunder @asgardambassador</b><br/>The voices of the Galactic Guardians ring free with curses today</p>
<p><b>Star Lord @pquill_nyquil</b><br/>Stfu Thor</p>
<p><b>God Of Thunder @asgardambassador</b><br/>I am unaware of the meaning of this Midgardian acronym, please explain</p>
<p><b>Freakin Trash Panda @rocketracccc</b><br/>It means ‘shut the fucking umbrella’</p>
<p><b>God Of Thunder @asgardambassador</b><br/>The God of Thunder has no need for umbrellas. What did you mean by this, Lord of Stars?</p>
<p><b>Star Lord @pquill_nyquil</b><br/>I might just delete this fucking account</p>
<p><b>Star Lord @pquill_nyquil</b><br/>Screw everyone, and good night</p>
<p><b>Freakin Trash Panda @rocketracccc</b><br/>Hehehe</p>
<p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p><b>Steve Rogers @capamerica</b><br/>Let’s take a stand with the #blacklivesmatter movement today as riots break out across the nation. Please stay safe if you are protesting. SHIELD agents and some Avengers will be heading to protest areas to protect you if stationed police officers act violently against peaceful protestors. </p>
<p><b>CallMeBucky @metalarm</b><br/>You’re amazing, Steve. #BLM</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>Iron Legions are being sent to the more violent areas. #BLM</p>
<p><b>Bruce Banner @#1sciencebro</b><br/>We’re in this fight together. By no means can I Hulk out and help, but I’m with you 100%. Sign the petition in my bio for justice #BLM</p>
<p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>#BLM. Let’s act like a respectable country for once</p>
<p><b>Rhodeside @war.machiney</b><br/>I’ve lived in a world of unfair privilege for far too long. Let’s end this. #BLM</p>
<p>Thread retweeted by <b>@clintbart0n, @SICEO, @bitchywitchy, @sciencebrobaby, @pquill_nyquil, @the.best.intern, @biderman, @MJ_will_fight_you, @n3dw33ks, @itssamwilsonbitches</b>, and 2.2 million others</p>
<p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p>
  <b>Direct Message: @#1sciencebro to @#2sciencebro</b>
</p>
<p><b>@#1sciencebro</b>: Is it true that you donated $500,000 to the George Floyd gofundme<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: Yeah, who told you that?<br/><b>@#1sciencebro</b>: Pepper<br/><b>@#1sciencebro</b>: You’re amazing Tony<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: And I’m fucking pissed at our country right now<br/><b>@#1sciencebro</b>: I love you<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: Wait what?</p>
<p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p><b>BLACK LIVES MATTER @MJ_will_fight_you</b><br/>I’m going to move to Canada. Or better yet, off this damn planet</p>
<p><b>ParkerPeter @the.best.intern</b><br/>take me with you plz</p>
<p><b>Neddy @n3dw33ks</b><br/>And me</p>
<p><b>BLACK LIVES MATTER @MJ_will_fight_you</b><br/>Alright y’all let’s build a rocket</p>
<p><b>BLACK LIVES MATTER @MJ_will_fight_you</b><br/>We’ll go to Mars</p>
<p><b>ParkerPeter @the.best.intern</b><br/>what if there are aliens there tho</p>
<p><b>BLACK LIVES MATTER @MJ_will_fight_you</b><br/>You’ll kick their asses</p>
<p><b>ParkerPeter @the.best.intern</b><br/>how am i supposed to do that</p>
<p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p>
  <b>Direct Message: @the.best.intern to @MJ_will_fight_you</b>
</p>
<p><b>@the.best.intern</b>: mj you’re on thin fucking ice<br/><b>@MJ_will_fight_you</b>: OMG IM SO SORRY I WASNT THINKING<br/><b>@the.best.intern</b>: bro it’s ok <br/><b>@MJ_will_fight_you</b>: NO IT IS NOT OK<br/><b>@the.best.intern</b>: look if people know i’m spidey, what’s the worst that could happen?<br/><b>@MJ_will_fight_you</b>: Idk but still I am so sorry I bow to you<br/><b>@the.best.intern</b>: no u don’t<br/><b>@MJ_will_fight_you</b>: Ha that’s right I bow to no one I’m the king<br/><b>@MJ_will_fight_you</b>: I’m gonna go eat some waffles byeee</p>
<p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. destroying homophobes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>several things happen, including the formation of a plan to destroy Valkyrie's homophobic neighbor</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>words words words for the sake of filling up space, enjoy this chapter which i wrote when i definitely should have been doing schoolwork</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>SSStrange @drstephenstrange</b><br/>I decided to live in the Avengers tower. I regret it. It’s Clint’s birthday and there are cupcakes everywhere. On the walls. On the floor. Probably in the vents.</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>Don’t say I didn’t warn you</p>
<p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>it’s my birthday i do what i want</p>
<p><b>SSStrange @drstephenstrange</b><br/>There is icing on my cape and I can’t get it off</p>
<p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>washing machine</p>
<p><b>SSStrange @drstephenstrange</b><br/>One does not simply place a magic cape in a washing machine</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>Look Strange if you don’t like it you can leave</p>
<p><b>SSStrange @drstephenstrange</b><br/>I have been leaving. Every day. Through portals. I need at least ten breaks a day to stay sane</p>
<p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>i’m gonna stick a cupcake up ur ass if you keep dissing my party</p>
<p><b>SSStrange @drstephenstrange</b><br/>Go ahead and try, I’ll kill you</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>Guys I think these death threats violate the Twitter guidelines</p>
<p><b>SSStrange @drstephenstrange</b><br/>Fine. What about threats of violence</p>
<p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>okay okay point taken i’ll stop throwing cupcakes</p>
<p><b>SSStrange @drstephenstrange</b><br/>You better.</p>
<p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p>
  <b>Direct Message: @#2sciencebro to @SICEO</b>
</p>
<p><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: Hey Pepper?<br/><b>@SICEO</b>: Yes Tony?<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: how do you tell if someone wants to date you?<br/><b>@SICEO</b>: Ummm… they ask you out on a date?<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: No I mean like. Picking up signs and stuff<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: Like if someone tells you they love you over a DM<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: Do I take it seriously<br/><b>@SICEO</b>: I think that’s a pretty obvious clue<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: Okay so wtf do I do then<br/><b>@SICEO</b>: Well, do you want to date them?<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: I don’t know<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: Maybe<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: I haven’t had time to think about it<br/><b>@SICEO</b>: You rarely do<br/><b>@SICEO</b>: I’m going to have fun guessing who it is<br/><b>@SICEO</b>: Someone on the team?<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: AHhHhH<br/><b>@SICEO</b>: Guy? Girl? Enby?<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: aHhHhH<br/><b>@SICEO</b>: I’m leaving this one to you :)</p>
<p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p><b>God of Mischief @loki_&gt;:)</b><br/>I have spent too much time with mortals</p>
<p><b>God of Mischief @loki_&gt;:)</b><br/>They truly do not know how to respect a person</p>
<p><b>ParkerPeter @the.best.intern</b><br/>what do you mean mr loki?</p>
<p><b>God of Mischief @loki_&gt;:)</b><br/>With all due respect, Peter, that is exactly what I mean. I was dressed as a woman today and referred to as ‘mr’ several times by those who recognized me as a villain, even though I believe I was completely female passing.</p>
<p><b>ParkerPeter @the.best.intern</b><br/>omg i’m so sorry miss loki!! so, are you genderfluid?</p>
<p><b>God of Mischief @loki_&gt;:)</b><br/>Yes, I believe that is the Midgardian term for it.</p>
<p><b>ParkerPeter @the.best.intern</b><br/>so we should address you as what you dress as?</p>
<p><b>God of Mischief @loki_&gt;:)</b><br/>Yes, that would be quite nice.</p>
<p><b>ParkerPeter @the.best.intern</b><br/>okay! that’s really cool!!</p>
<p><b>God of Mischief @loki_&gt;:)</b><br/>Thank you for being understanding, child.</p>
<p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p><b>Val Kill Me @kingofasgard</b><br/>Hey #Revengers remember when we beat Hela’s ass? Can we do that to *someone* else now?</p>
<p><b>God Of Thunder @asgardambassador</b><br/>I would be glad to help, Valkyrie. Who must we defeat?</p>
<p><b>Bruce Banner @#1sciencebro</b><br/>… am I still a Revenger?</p>
<p><b>Val Kill Me @kingofasgard</b><br/>@#1sciencebro Hell yes</p>
<p><b>God of Mischief @loki_&gt;:)</b><br/>… am I?</p>
<p><b>God Of Thunder @asgardambassador</b><br/>@loki_&gt;:) Of course, sibling.</p>
<p><b>Val Kill Me @kingofasgard</b><br/>Okay so</p>
<p><b>ValKillMe @kingofasgard</b><br/>… you know my neighbor at New Asgard, right?</p>
<p><b>God Of Thunder @asgardambassador</b><br/>The one who keeps pestering you?</p>
<p><b>ValKillMe @kingofasgard</b><br/>Yes</p>
<p><b>Bruce Banner @#1sciencebro</b><br/>I’m missing the story here</p>
<p><b>God of Mischief @loki_&gt;:)</b><br/>Valkyrie’s neighbor is a homophobic ass clown who keeps bothering Val and her girlfriend</p>
<p><b>Bruce Banner @#1sciencebro</b><br/>Okay I’m perfectly ready to destroy them then</p>
<p><b>ValKillMe @kingofasgard</b><br/>So he doesn’t have home insurance… </p>
<p><b>ValKillMe @kingofasgard</b><br/>So maybe,, theoretically,, could you destroy his house</p>
<p><b>ValKillMe @kingofasgard</b><br/>I could, but it would look like direct revenge and I’m shit at dealing with insurance fraud so</p>
<p><b>Bruce Banner @#1sciencebro</b><br/>Well I’m not gonna Hulk out, but I’ll certainly make sure he has to pay, I’m good at paperwork</p>
<p><b>God of Mischief @loki_&gt;:)</b><br/>I will ensure he feels the emotional pain of what he has done</p>
<p><b>God Of Thunder @asgardambassador</b><br/>And I shall carry out the actual destruction</p>
<p><b>Bruce Banner @#1sciencebro</b><br/>Maybe we shouldn’t be discussing this publicly?</p>
<p><b>ValKillMe @kingofasgard</b><br/>Doesn’t matter, he doesn’t have twitter </p>
<p><b>Bruce Banner @#1sciencebro</b><br/>Yeah but like… you know what never mind. I’ll do it for the sake of fighting homophobes</p>
<p><b>God Of Thunder @asgardambassador</b><br/>So, is everyone in?</p>
<p><b>God of Mischief @loki_&gt;:)</b><br/>Yes.</p>
<p><b>Bruce Banner @#1sciencebro</b><br/>Hell yes.</p>
<p><b>ValKillMe @kingofasgard</b><br/>Fucking hell yes.</p>
<p><b>ValKillMe @kingofasgard</b><br/>Let’s go</p>
<p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. what is up my dudes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Welcome aboard Shuri :)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i am BORED i am GAY i am TIRED i am ANGRY i want COOKIES and that is essentially my existence at this point</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Direct Message: @clintbart0n to @natwidow</b>
</p>
<p><b>@clintbart0n</b>: umm nat<br/><b>@clintbart0n</b>: i need help<br/><b>@natwidow</b>: Fire away<br/><b>@clintbart0n</b>: so um<br/><b>@clintbart0n</b>: what do you do when someone kisses you and then runs off in embarrassment<br/><b>@natwidow</b>: … it was Coulson wasn’t it<br/><b>@clintbart0n</b>: how the fuck do you know that<br/><b>@natwidow</b>: You’re both gay as hell, you work together, you’re the only person he’s awkward around,,,<br/><b>@clintbart0n</b>: i’m only like, 67% gay<br/><b>@clintbart0n</b>: but anyway<br/><b>@clintbart0n</b>: now that you’ve stolen my fucking thunder<br/><b>@clintbart0n</b>: AND DONT U SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THOR<br/><b>@clintbart0n</b>: i thought i would be the one to make the first move but he just,,, went for it<br/><b>@clintbart0n</b>: and now i’m fucking screwed<br/><b>@natwidow</b>: Ask him out on a date<br/><b>@clintbart0n</b>: i am not confident enough for that<br/><b>@natwidow</b>: Yes you are and you damn well know it, you like each other, ask him on a fucking date<br/><b>@clintbart0n</b>: okayyyyy<br/><b>@clintbart0n</b>: thx nat</p>
<p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p><b>donut hoax @idkwhatlifeis</b><br/>omg if one more libtard goes off about climate change i’m gonna scream. seriously. you’re wasting your time on a hoax when there are more important things to worry about</p>
<p><b>Steve Rogers @capamerica</b><br/>Like what? Our survival as a species? Not destroying the planet more than we’ve already destroyed it?</p>
<p><b>CallMeBucky @metalarm</b><br/>Oooo go off Steve</p>
<p><b>donut hoax @idkwhatlifeis</b><br/>omg. spend your government money on something else</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>Look if you want to destroy the entire biosphere then that’s on you, but the rest of us are gonna fucking do something about our home</p>
<p><b>Jen Cloe @cloe25jen</b><br/>The Avengers are seriously awesome. Thanks for defending our planet in every way.</p>
<p><b>Steve Rogers @capamerica</b><br/>It’s our job, and we’re going to do it right.</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>Damn right we are</p>
<p><b>CallMeBucky @metalarm</b><br/>Oooo go off Tony</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>You’re only allowed to say that to Steve</p>
<p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p><b>Sure_ReEeEe @resident_wakanda_princess</b><br/>What is up my dudes</p>
<p><b>ParkerPeter @the.best.intern</b><br/>HA HA i made her get twitter</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>Oh shit you two know each other</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>Shuri is way smarter than me, you and her are NOT a good combo</p>
<p><b>Sure_ReEeEe @resident_wakanda_princess</b><br/>I’m moving into the tower in two weeks :)</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>WHAT WHO AUTHORIZED THIS</p>
<p><b>ParkerPeter @the.best.intern</b><br/>me and ms potts :)</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>I haven’t even written my will yet</p>
<p><b>Sure_ReEeEe @resident_wakanda_princess</b><br/>Better get started, I already figured out how to hack into FRIDAY’s system :)</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>Actually I can’t write my will. How could I if I’m already dead</p>
<p><b>*T’challa* @wakingda</b><br/>I’m afraid I cannot save you, good luck. I’m also moving in by the way :)</p>
<p><b>Sure_ReEeEe @resident_wakanda_princess</b><br/>I’m packing my bags :)</p>
<p><b>ParkerPeter @the.best.intern</b><br/>this is gonna be fun :)</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>Please stop using smiley faces</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>I might just commit self deletus</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>Peter taught me that phrase by the way</p>
<p><b>ParkerPeter @the.best.intern</b><br/>ooooo look at mr stark getting with the gen z kids</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>For the last time kid, you’re allowed to call me Tony</p>
<p><b>ParkerPeter @the.best.intern</b><br/>two weeks :)</p>
<p><b>Sure_ReEeEe @resident_wakanda_princess</b><br/>Then chaos :)</p>
<p>-----------------------------------------------------------------<br/><b>*two weeks later*</b><br/>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>just a small town girl</p>
<p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>livin in a lonely world</p>
<p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>she took the midnight train goin annnyyywhheerrree</p>
<p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>SHURI GODDAMN YOU </p>
<p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>SHE HACKED MY ACCOUNT</p>
<p><b>birdie boi bitch @clintbart0n</b><br/>WHY ME YOU BARELY KNOW ME :( :( :( :( :( :(</p>
<p><b>Sure_ReEeEe @resident_wakanda_princess</b><br/>:) :) :) :) :) :) </p>
<p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. welcome to chili's</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Chili's :)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Can anyone please tell me what I'm doing because I sure as hell don't know</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>CallMeBucky @metalarm</b><br/>Steve please stop telling me to watch my language</p>
<p><b>Steve Rogers @capamerica</b><br/>You didn’t have to tweet that</p>
<p><b>CallMeBucky @metalarm</b><br/>The world must know of the atrocities you hath committed</p>
<p><b>CallMeBucky @metalarm</b><br/>(:</p>
<p><b>Steve Rogers @capamerica</b><br/>You weren’t even there when I said that, Bucky</p>
<p><b>CallMeBucky @metalarm</b><br/>Doesn’t matter</p>
<p><b>CallMeBucky @metalarm</b><br/>Let me call you a bitch for once without getting sniped at</p>
<p><b>Greenie Beany @gretahut.5</b><br/>This conversation will fuel me for a week</p>
<p><b>Steve Rogers @capamerica</b><br/>Fine, I’ll stop</p>
<p><b>Steve Rogers @capamerica</b><br/>… for one day</p>
<p><b>CallMeBucky @metalarm</b><br/>It’s a deal</p>
<p><b>CallMeBucky @metalarm</b><br/>Let’s shake on it</p>
<p><b>Steve Rogers @capamerica</b><br/>Don’t use your left arm please</p>
<p><b>CallMeBucky @metalarm</b><br/>Nobody shakes hands with their left arm</p>
<p><b>Steve Rogers @capamerica</b><br/>I’m just playing it safe</p>
<p>-----------------------------------------------------------------<br/><b>birdie boi bitch@clintbart0n</b><br/>let’s play guess who i took out on a date :) :D</p>
<p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>Hehehehehe</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>Clint took someone on a date? Wow today has been weird as hell</p>
<p><b>Bruce Banner @#1sciencebro</b><br/>I think I know who it is :)</p>
<p><b>birdie boi bitch@clintbart0n</b><br/>ah shit, banner has a fucking gaydar</p>
<p><b>Bruce Banner @#1sciencebro</b><br/>So it IS a guy :)</p>
<p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>This is too hilarious</p>
<p><b>birdie boi bitch@clintbart0n</b><br/>well bruce? you gonna guess?</p>
<p><b>Bruce Banner @#1sciencebro</b><br/>I don’t want to spoil the fun :)</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>Please for the love of science stop using smiley faces</p>
<p><b>Bruce Banner @#1sciencebro</b><br/>No :)</p>
<p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>Cmon Clint spill the beans</p>
<p><b>birdie boi bitch@clintbart0n</b><br/>the beans? they’re uh, they’re lima beans</p>
<p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>T e l l  t h e m  w h o  i t  i s</p>
<p><b>birdie boi bitch@clintbart0n</b><br/>no they have to guess :)</p>
<p><b>Director Fury @hellfirefury</b><br/>Fine, then I’ll tell them</p>
<p><b>birdie boi bitch@clintbart0n</b><br/>HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW WHO IT IS</p>
<p><b>Director Fury @hellfirefury</b><br/>Because your friend failed to turn off his tracker as he walked into that Chili’s</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>You took someone on a date in a CHILI’S</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>This is an outrage</p>
<p><b>birdie boi bitch@clintbart0n</b><br/>WHY WERE YOU TRACKING HIM</p>
<p><b>Director Fury @hellfirefury</b><br/>It was accidental. I happened to have my map up on my monitor, and there you two were, walking into a Chili’s</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>So you’re saying that Clint’s date works for SHIELD?</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>Then this can only mean one thing - </p>
<p><b>AgentCoulson @philcoulson</b><br/>You got me, Stark.</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>HA</p>
<p><b>birdie boi bitch@clintbart0n</b><br/>dammit :)</p>
<p><b>Bruce Banner @#1sciencebro</b><br/>Knew it :)</p>
<p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>Barton and Coulson sittin in a tree, k i l l i n g </p>
<p><b>birdie boi bitch@clintbart0n</b><br/>no nat i haven’t shot anyone recently</p>
<p><b>AgentCoulson @philcoulson</b><br/>Nor have I </p>
<p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>It was a joke</p>
<p><b>Spider Queen @natwidow</b><br/>You know, ‘humor’?</p>
<p><b>birdie boi bitch@clintbart0n</b><br/>shut up</p>
<p><b>AgentCoulson @philcoulson</b><br/>Wanna go to Burger King next time?</p>
<p><b>birdie boi bitch@clintbart0n</b><br/>yes </p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>I can’t fucking believe this</p>
<p><b>birdie boi bitch@clintbart0n</b><br/>you better</p>
<p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p>
  <b>Direct Message: @#2sciencebro to @#1sciencebro</b>
</p>
<p><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: Hey Bruce, you wanna go to Chili’s with me? :)</p>
<p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. i’ve been hitting on you since the day we met :)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Everyone has issues</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>including me</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>SSStrange @drstephenstrange</b><br/>… why is my cape hot pink?</p>
<p><b>Sure_ReEeEe @resident_wakanda_princess</b><br/>IT WAS AN ACCIDENT I AM SORRY PLEASE DON’T KILL ME</p>
<p><b>SSStrange @drstephenstrange</b><br/>I’m just curious as to the specific events that led to my cape being HOT PINK</p>
<p><b>Sure_ReEeEe @resident_wakanda_princess</b><br/>I was working on a device for instant color change in clothing. I call it the Chameleon. You weren’t wearing your cape and it was in the lab and I needed something to test it on - </p>
<p><b>Sure_ReEeEe @resident_wakanda_princess</b><br/>But I haven’t perfected the level of accuracy in the color changes - </p>
<p><b>Sure_ReEeEe @resident_wakanda_princess</b><br/>:(</p>
<p><b>ParkerPeter @the.best.intern</b><br/>you’re so screwed</p>
<p><b>SSStrange @drstephenstrange</b><br/>Can you change it back?</p>
<p><b>Sure_ReEeEe @resident_wakanda_princess</b><br/>… maybe?</p>
<p><b>SSStrange @drstephenstrange</b><br/>I’d prefer a definitive answer</p>
<p><b>ParkerPeter @the.best.intern</b><br/>SO SCREWED</p>
<p><b>Sure_ReEeEe @resident_wakanda_princess</b><br/>SHUT UP PETER</p>
<p><b>SSStrange @drstephenstrange</b><br/>You have until midnight, then I actually get mad</p>
<p><b>Sure_ReEeEe @resident_wakanda_princess</b><br/>OKAY OKAY I’LL TRY MY BEST</p>
<p><b>ParkerPeter @the.best.intern</b><br/>sO sCrEwEd</p>
<p><b>Sure_ReEeEe @resident_wakanda_princess</b><br/>AHHHHHHH</p>
<p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p>
  <b>Direct Message: @#1sciencebro to @#2sciencebro</b>
</p>
<p><b>@#1sciencebro</b>: So you finally picked up on all my hints, yeah?<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: Your hints?<br/><b>@#1sciencebro</b>: Tony oh my god<br/><b>@#1sciencebro</b>: I mean oh my science<br/><b>@#1sciencebro</b>: I’ve been hitting on you since the day we met<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: … oh<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: well fuck<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: I apologize for being a monumental idiot<br/><b>@#1sciencebro</b>: Apology accepted :)<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: … so do you want to go to Chili’s or not?<br/><b>@#1sciencebro</b>: Yes, I want to go to Chili’s<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: Okay cool. Friday night? 6:30?<br/><b>@#1sciencebro</b>: Works for me<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: Hope you like shitty food<br/><b>@#1sciencebro</b>: I don’t, but I won’t be worrying over whether my flirting has been for nothing, so it’s fine<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: I am seriously sorry, the past few years have been weird<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: I didn’t know I was bi until<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: Wait fuck oh my god I’m so FUCKING stupid<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: I didn’t know I was bi until I met you<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: Which should have been a huge ass clue, you’d think<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: But no<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: I’m a dumbass<br/><b>@#2sciencebro</b>: Chili’s on Friday night<br/><b>@#1sciencebro</b>: … Chili’s on Friday night<br/><b>@#1sciencebro</b>: And you're no dumbass :)<br/>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p><b>God of Mischief @loki_&gt;:)</b><br/>Tiring of existence, might self delete later, idk</p>
<p><b>ParkerPeter @the.best.intern</b><br/>… loki, r u okay?</p>
<p><b>God of Mischief @loki_&gt;:)</b><br/>Don’t worry young spider friend, I was simply testing phrases I have heard used by the youth</p>
<p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p><b>Big News News @bignewnews</b><br/>Spider Man is… Peter Parker? The young intern is accidentally revealed to be a web slinging hero on Twitter? Read more ---&gt;</p>
<p><b>Buzzfeed News @buzzfeed_news</b><br/>Stark intern revealed to be the no-longer anonymous hero, Spider Man! https://spiderman.identityreveal/fakelink.hthdy78jdh.url</p>
<p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p><b>God of Mischief @loki_&gt;:)</b><br/>Oh fuck</p>
<p><b>God of Mischief @loki_&gt;:)</b><br/>I mean shit</p>
<p><b>God of Mischief @loki_&gt;:)</b><br/>I mean crap<br/>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>Oh fuck</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>I mean shit</p>
<p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>I mean crap<br/>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p>
<p><b>Spidey @biderman</b><br/>I mean, this isn’t the worst way people could have found out, it’s okay guys</p>
<p><b>BLACK LIVES MATTER @MJ_will_fight_you</b><br/>Ha ha now people won’t mess with me cuz my best friend is fucking Spider Man</p>
<p><b>Neddy @n3dw33ks</b><br/>… my best friend</p>
<p><b>speedyyyy @flashthompson</b><br/>I can’t fucking believe this</p>
<p><b>Spidey @biderman</b><br/>You better believe it :)</p>
<p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. hacked</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tony done got hacked :)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Last chapter, thanks for reading y'all :) Now I can finally spend time on schoolwork :D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>ParkerPeter @the.best.intern</b><br/>
hehehehehehehe</p><p><b>Sure_ReEeEe @resident_wakanda_princess</b><br/>
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
What did you do</p><p><b>Sure_ReEeEe @resident_wakanda_princess</b><br/>
It’s not what we /did/, it’s what we’re /about/ to do</p><p><b>ParkerPeter @the.best.intern</b><br/>
3</p><p><b>Sure_ReEeEe @resident_wakanda_princess</b><br/>
2</p><p><b>ParkerPeter @the.best.intern</b><br/>
1</p><p><b>Sure_ReEeEe @resident_wakanda_princess</b><br/>
Hehe</p><p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p><p><b>Legolas @clintbart0n</b><br/>
why is this my name</p><p><b>This woman will fucking kill you @natwidow</b><br/>
Why is this MY name</p><p><b>This woman will fucking kill you @natwidow</b><br/>
I mean I’m not complaining, but</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
PETER AND SHURI HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO THIS</p><p><b>Smarter than me @resident_wakanda_princess</b><br/>
I hacked into Friday</p><p><b>Spiderkid @the.best.intern</b><br/>
And I hacked into your phone</p><p><b>Smarter than me @resident_wakanda_princess</b><br/>
And now everyone has the name they are in your contacts :)</p><p><b>Smarter than me @resident_wakanda_princess</b><br/>
I like the name, btw :)</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
… </p><p><b>Zap Zap Muscles @asgardambassador</b><br/>
I suppose this is fitting?</p><p><b>Annoying Bitch @pquill_nyquil</b><br/>
AW C'MON STARK</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
Can I legally retire from life</p><p><b>&lt;3 &lt;3 &lt;3 &lt;3 &lt;3 @#1sciencebro</b><br/>
… no</p><p><b>This woman will fucking kill you @natwidow</b><br/>
I knew Bruce and Tony had a thing</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
‘A thing’ it’s called a relationship Nat</p><p><b>Legolas @clintbart0n</b><br/>
hold up WHAT</p><p><b>&lt;3 &lt;3 &lt;3 &lt;3 &lt;3 @#1sciencebro</b><br/>
We went on a date to Chili’s, we were inspired by you :)</p><p><b>Legolas @clintbart0n</b><br/>
so yeah today’s been full of fucking surprises</p><p><b>Better Than Fury @philcoulson</b><br/>
I appreciate the nickname, Stark :D</p><p><b>bitchy pirate boss @hellfirefury</b><br/>
I am going to fire everybody, I don’t care whose fault this is</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
I would say I’m sorry, but I’d be lying</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
Peter I’m going to take away your suit</p><p><b>Spiderkid @the.best.intern</b><br/>
:(</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
And Shuri… well I don’t fucking know</p><p><b>Kitty man @wakingda</b><br/>
What the hell Stark</p><p><b>Kitty man @wakingda</b><br/>
I am glad Shuri exposed you like this</p><p><b>Smarter than me @resident_wakanda_princess</b><br/>
I will never be sorry</p><p><b>LaNgUaGe @capamerica</b><br/>
Would it be patriotic of me to kick Tony’s ass</p><p><b>don’t shake this man’s hand @metalarm</b><br/>
Yes, it would be very patriotic, just light off some fireworks or something and you can pass it off as a fourth of july celebration</p><p><b>LaNgUaGe @capamerica</b><br/>
Okay, I’m going to kick Tony’s ass</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
Go ahead and try</p><p><b>Tree @iamgroot</b><br/>
I AM GROOT</p><p><b>Build a bear @rocketracccc</b><br/>
I may be small but I can still claw your eyes out</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
You guys, everyone’s already agreed to kill me, you can ease up</p><p><b>Witch Bitch @bitchywitchy</b><br/>
I’m okay with this name</p><p><b>My Robot Adult-kid @sciencebrobaby</b><br/>
I am… slightly confused, but I accept the circumstances</p><p><b>Rhodeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyy @war.machiney</b><br/>
Wow Tony</p><p><b>nasty ass bird @itssamwilsonbitches</b><br/>
.. / .... .- - . / -.-- --- ..-</p><p><b>nasty ass bird @itssamwilsonbitches</b><br/>
That’s morse code for ‘i hate you’</p><p><b>Mean Wizard @drstephenstrange</b><br/>
I’m not going to argue, this is accurate</p><p><b>scary pegasus lady @kingofasgard</b><br/>
Hahaha</p><p><b>scary pegasus lady @kingofasgard</b><br/>
I aim to strike fear into the hearts of men :)</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
I don’t even know what to say you guys</p><p><b>Sexy evil god person @loki_&gt;:)</b><br/>
… should I be flattered or weirded out?</p><p><b>This woman will fucking kill you @natwidow</b><br/>
Tony what the hell</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
What? It’s true</p><p><b>Zap Zap Muscles @asgardambassador</b><br/>
This is fun to observe</p><p><b>The Only Competent Adult @SICEO</b><br/>
I feel like a babysitter with a thousand bitchy, sick children</p><p><b>The Only Competent Adult @SICEO</b><br/>
But if I said I wasn’t entertained, I’d be lying</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
Thanks Pepper</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
I’m going to leave now</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
Maybe forever</p><p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>
  <b>Direct Message: @#1sciencebro to @#2sciencebro</b>
</p><p><b>@#1sciencebro</b>: This is ridiculous<br/>
<b>@#2sciencebro</b>: I’m going to run away<br/>
<b>@#1sciencebro</b>: Running away doesn’t solve problems. Besides, this is hardly a problem<br/>
<b>@#2sciencebro</b>: Oh<br/>
<b>@#2sciencebro</b>: Well then I’ll just delete twitter<br/>
<b>@#1sciencebro</b>: No way, the public loves your twitter account :)<br/>
<b>@#2sciencebro</b>: Well then I’ll just<br/>
<b>@#2sciencebro</b>: I don’t fucking know<br/>
<b>@#2sciencebro</b>: I love you<br/>
<b>@#1sciencebro</b>: I know<br/>
<b>@#1sciencebro</b>: Now go take care of your chronic mortification<br/>
<b>@#2sciencebro</b>: okay :)</p><p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
Okay you guys, I regained control of Friday and got your names back</p><p><b>&lt;3 &lt;3 &lt;3 &lt;3 &lt;3 @#1sciencebro</b><br/>
… no you didn’t</p><p><b>Smarter than me @resident_wakanda_princess</b><br/>
Mwahahahahaaa &gt;:)</p><p><b>Starkdaddy @#2sciencebro</b><br/>
SHURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII</p><p>-----------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>
  <b>THE END</b>
</p><p>
  <b>:)</b>
</p>
  </div></div>
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